MY LORD, I PRAY FOR YOUR BLESSINGS

its been almost a year now since i went through the most horrible experience in my life. but during that time, i learnt to move forward. with support from my friends and family. no matter how bad time got, i managed to overcome any obstacles. but my lord, i've yet come across another obstacle in my blessed life. someone close to me, a family to me has been going through a lot recently. truthfully, i have not been able to look into his eyes. i'm afraid of acknowledging his pain. i dont want to accept that he's near defeat. i want to keep believing that i will know that he will be around for a longer time to give me the strength and the courage to keep going forward. but reality is harsh. my friend has been suffering for almost 7 months now. he's learnt that he has a possible that he's suffering from ALS. its term is Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's disease, is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS eventually lead to their death. When the motor neurons die, the ability of the brain to initiate and control muscle movement is lost. With voluntary muscle action progressively affected, patients in the later stages of the disease may become totally paralyzed.

i always have feared that he might had been affected like this and my fear's been realised. i'm trying to remain as strong as i can. all i hope is that everything will be alrite. i pray that my prayers will be answered. i pray that grace will be given.

ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT

heyooz. i decided to return back to blog about my life and its present. well, i've been told by many of my friends that i would listen to them and their problems, but i would never speak about anything bad that i was going through. haha, well i didnt really notice that actually. i haven thought about telling anyone about my problems, even now. i'm not sure why, but its like, i feel that even if i put what i was going through it words, it was still hard to explain what i really felt. at most they would get only 35% of the part. so yea. sometimes, its not really that easy to speak about things. so yea.

i'm sure anyone reading this would wanna know how i'm feeling right now while writing this. well, i feel great. so yea. my day was kinda alrite. two of my cousins came over. sis was out. so i was talking to them. i managed to talk to brammi for a while. its quite rare when the both of us have a conversation. so yea. but both of them were really quiet. i guess they noticed that i wasnt myself at all anymore. i'm getting older day by day. and sometimes, i dont even feel that i'm myself at times. so yea. i like doing things alone. the thing i really hate is when someone tells me to do something without thinking about the others. i wouldnt wanna say what or whom i'm angry with, but sometimes, when someone wants my cooperation, maybe it means, its time to get down to being respectful and nice when they need my help. so yea. secondly, i do things my way. so when you want my help, dont tell me how to do it. i'll do it the way i want to do. if you cant deal with it, do it yourself. anothing thing i'm pissed about when someone doesnt accept me for whom i am. i dont like hurting anyone in any way. one way or another, i keep things to myself. its not like you could do anything about it. my problem is my problem. deal with it. lastly, i hate anyone suspecting me or even saying stuffs that they think i'm thinking. its not as if anyone can read my mind. if you cannot digest that, i suggest, you shove off my path. i never did anything to you. so leave me alone. its as simple as that.